Why Am I Listening to Such Dreck?

The grimmest Kinks song ever, which I’m just loving. Because I have bad taste, I suppose.

So, Yeah, Muteness Isn’t a Word

But have I ever been feeling mute lately! This newish job I have requires much in terms of politesse with my fellow man when more often than not I’d like to close my eyes and think about that Mozart piece that Dallas listened to in the shuttle when he wanted to get away from the bickering crew members of the Nostromo. You know that one, right? Yes, that one. From smiling I have two new parenthetical wrinkles marking equidistant arcs at the corners of my mouth. By smiling I mean ‘the rictus of expression that occurs from polite listening and nodding when you’d rather be, eyes closed, thinking about that Mozart piece that Dallas listened to in the shuttle when he wanted to get away from the bickering crew members of the Nostromo’. It’s grim, my friends, grim, but so is this modern life. It can take the starch out of you, like a wash and wear and wash and wear and then a hurricane.

And now a brief tale from my past: Once, when I was still working on the floor at Jeffrey I would see Chan Marshall and her boyfriend shopping in the store. It was an exciting celebrity sighting for me because no one else there really listened to Cat Power (most of my co-workers favoring the sad music that pools in the waters of Disco, House and second-rate R&B) so it was sort of like a private moment of celebrity and fan. Except, of course, she was just in to buy shoes and the odd cosmetic and had no idea that I hearted the hell out of her or that I had a crush on her boyfriend.

Anyway, I hear that CM has since broken up with the beau and now lives in Miami and is something of a drunk. I still live in New York with my small grey cat and have given up on the redeeming qualities of substances. Life moves forward and often your head is so far turned back it may as well be up your ass, you know?

No, Wait, Diane Savino is My Girlfriend

I’m moving to Staten Island.

Martha Stewart Is My Girlfriend

Kitty Porn

When I got home from the gym this evening I happened to be listening to Britney Spears’ most recent opus, ‘3′. My cat, as per usual, met me at the door. Somewhat delirious from endorphins I decided to personalize the song for my small, meowing friend. Thus the lyrics ‘Are you in?/Living in sin is the new thing’ became ‘Are you grey?/Living with cats is the new thing’. I paused for a moment, concerned that I was becoming that homosexual. You know, the sweaty weirdo who sings Britney Spears songs to his elderly cat. Then I remembered that I had been singing her a Nick Cave song earlier when I got home from work and felt somewhat redeemed. If you’re wondering, the song ‘Oh Children’ became ‘Oh Kittens’.

She is cute as hell, though.

The Grige

Sandra Lee, Presented Without Comment

Lawn Saint Corner

32nd Street Between 35th and 36th Avenues, Astoria Queens

Audio/Visual Non Sequiturs

Exclamations, Just Now

Christ it’s dark already.

Something About Myself That I Just Remembered

I once paid for a pack of cigarettes with subway tokens.